Sunday, September 19, 2010

Bedew No Man's Face with Your Spittle -or- George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior, Part 3


Is that George Washington posing in the tricorn hat? Well, almost. Actually, that's me, channeling my inner George at the Yorktown, Virginia Victory Center.

I'm taking great pains of late to emulate old GW. To whit, I now murder my vermin, fleas, lice and ticks only in private, and whenever I see filth or thick spittle I put my foot dexterously upon it (provided it's not too deep). Will I grow up to be President some day? Stay tuned.

To see earlier posts in this series, click HERE.

11. Shift not yourself in the sight of others, nor gnaw your nails.

12. Shake not the head, feet, or legs; roll not the eyes; lift not one eyebrow higher than the other, wry not the mouth, and bedew no man's face with your spittle by approaching too near him when you speak.

13. Kill no vermin, or fleas, lice, ticks, etc. in the sight of others; if you see any filth or thick spittle put your foot dexterously upon it; if it be upon the clothes of your companions, put it off privately, and if it be upon your own clothes, return thanks to him who puts it off.

14. Turn not your back to others, especially in speaking; jog not the table or desk on which another reads or writes; lean not upon anyone.

15. Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean, yet without showing any great concern for them.

6 comments:

Cap'n Bob said...

You have my vote, Mr. President.

Deka Black said...

You do not have mine, but only because i am a evil spaniard, mwahahaha!

But you have my thumb up for your cool way of wearing hats.

Richard R. said...

Darn, I spent half the morning wryig my mouth, now I find it's a no-no.

pattinase (abbott) said...

You have my vote too. Oh, wait, women didn't have a vote.

Oscar said...

Oh shucks, my spittle landed not on someone's face but all over my new work in progress. What to do? I can't step on it and damage it further, but I will do something in private with it as the better course of action.

Laurie Powers said...

Killing vermin and lice is my favorite thing to do in life - what's a girl to do?